Army Daze - Ep 1

Hmmm, as I end one phase of my life, maybe the time is ripe for a reflection.

( Actually, I'm waiting for my parents to buy dinner and as I'm hungry, I need something to distract myself )





I remember stepping into BMTC and handing my IC over to some guy from mindef. The moment I did that, it felt like a part of me was taken away. It seemed that I was less of a person and that somehow, my life didn't belong to me anymore. I was right; it didn't. The moment I gave up my IC, this CSM from dunno where suddenly started barking at us. Yup, barking. With a snarl that would have made a pitbull proud.



"TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT! GET INTO TWO STRAIGHT LINES!"



Obviously he does not care about the fact that you cannot tuck in your shirt as tucking your shirt involves putting your shirt-tails into your pants. As such, I don't understand how much more "in" you have to go if your shirt is already tucked.(Courtesy of Mr Vincent Devadason, who taught me this at the age of 13)

Well, as those of you who remember what I looked like then will know, I was obviously over-weight. However, not many of you may know this. I was originally termed 'mild-obese' during my medical and posted to Gryphon Company. To my great distress, I was weighed again on the day of my enlistment and I tipped the scales at a hefty 90 kilos, which put me into the 'moderate obese' range. I was promptly transferred to Dragon Company. Thankfully, I was not alone in that respect as a good 60+ of us were transferred that day. At least I was not in the select few who were transferred to Eagle Company where the true heavyweight champions of Tekong resided(The fat can only make fun of the fatter). Imagine their distress upon finding out that just like that, their BMT would became a 6 month stint instead of 15 weeks.

Anyway, I had been told by all my relatives to keep a low profile in the army(who are they trying to kid?) but with a family name like Fernandez, its really quite difficult. I mean imagine the roll call on the 1st day...

" Ang! "
" Yes Encik! "

" Cai! "
" Yes Encik! "

" Chan! "
" Yes Encik! "

" Chen! "
" Yes Encik! "

" Faizal! "
" Yes Encik! "

" Fang! "
" Yes Encik! "

" Fernandez? "

Right on cue, everybody turns around to look for this exotic specimen of a human. People start asking each other, " Eh, our platoon got ang moh meh? " They try to find the blue eyed blondie who's maybe lost in the sea of bodies. The slightly more informed ones try looking for a Hispanic dude who can go for reggae-tons with them.

" Yes Encik!" A very local voice calls out.

All eyes fall on me. The very words "low-profile" get thrown out the window.

Pray, do tell, how then can I be low profile? I can't even use my first name as there are 3 Jeremys in my platoon. It was the first day of NS and everybody knew my name. Crap.

Thus started my life as a pseudo soldier and I was in for a culture shock. I learnt that you could understand 'fuck you'. I learnt that its possible to put an explosive device 10cm away from your 'fruit and vegetable' and not walk as if you had a durian up your arse. I learnt that its never ok when your sarge says never mind. I learnt that its a positively orgasmic experience to bomb 5 days worth of 'bombs' even if a swarm of flies were holding an AGM at your rear end and mozzies were trying to suck your dick and most of all, I learnt how full of shit Rambo really is.

On hindsight, I must say that I've truly truly been blessed during my BMT. First of all, my OC was a warrant officer who was nearing the end of his career. His leadership philosophy was, "You come here in one piece, you leave here in one piece." As such, my BMT was really slack. We only ever did the bare minimum and any extra physical training was purely optional. Our welfare was absurdly fantastic and we could even have movie marathons on certain days. Despite this however, I managed to lose an amazing 20 kilos and I could actually jog continuously for 2.4km.(my original timing was 18mins!) I must say that God really made my transition an easy one and I really thank him for that. Oh well, this is just part one of my reflection and if you're interested, there's at least 2-3 more parts coming up.




This reflection is dedicated to Platoon 1, Dragon Coy and esp to Sect 4.
Inclusive of these colourful characters

Andrew Leong, platoon best and proof that age is not a barrier.
Kirpal 'Sunny' Singh, comedienne and 'spoofer' extraordinaire.
Ghazalli, Sunny's partner in crime.
Najib, proof that the biggest noises does not necessarily come n the biggest packages.
Chew Bang, from fat to fit. Best PT. Ran his 2.4 in 10:15 which is bloody fast for a fat guy.
'Wild Boar' Wei Liang, the only guy to lose only 4 kg when everyone else was in double figures.
Sgt Fauzi, chili padi; small but spicy.
'Muscle Man' Zi Wei, overweight with pure muscle. Really.
Eugene 'Michelin Man', redefines curvy.
Choke 'Barracuda', the ugliest son of a gun. His name really is Choke.
2wo Steven, whose solution to every problem is a shake of the head and a " Report sick la"

An attempt at intellect

Just in case it gets written over...
This is what Audrey said on my tagboard...

"actually, i was thinking about the title of your blog. it could either mean
or rather imply
(1) if notes can be found on a piano so to speak, you, as a "struggling musician" are that "piano". Therefore, synonymous to your identity is the piano
(2) if notes about you are written by you, then this blog would mean that it's a blogger about a blogger, or blog about a blog if you like. it's self-reflexive
how do u like my comments for starters?"

Once a Lit student, always a Lit student!

Getting Emo Again

I still can't believe that I lost my temper that day. I absolutely hate it. 7 years and this is the first time I truly exploded even if there were times when I've been pissed. I was this close to losing it and I nearly stormed out. Sigh...

Crappy sorta weekend... with the exception of football. Actually, that was crappy in a way too as I'm REALLY out of shape. After 20 mins I was huffing and puffing like a big bad wolf( with sweat dripping down the hair on my chinny chin chin). I think the old men are fitter then the young men! Scored 3 goals though, so not that bad I guess. Plus, we discovered the next big football star in the form of Ray's nephew, Issac. He's 10 and I must say that he's pretty talented. When I was his age, I couldn't even kick a ball straight! He was all over the pitch defending well and spraying accurate passes all over the place. I mean, he got tackles in on all of us and we weren't exactly 'kelonging' either. He's like a pint sized Makelele and I think he'll thrash us when he grows up.

On a more depressing note, my grandma got hospitalized again as she suffered a (suspected) stroke/relapse. Someone played a prank that his girlfriend was pregnant. Plus my uncle's only got a few days left. 'Sadded' man. :(

I suppose we knew all along that the moment my uncle stopped the chemo, it was going to be a matter of time. At least he and his family had some time to prepare. I suppose no amount of preparation can really prepare you when it actually happens but I must say that my aunt is holding up well and being strong so far. My uncle has some pretty bizarre last wishes. He wants us to wear pink at the wake and to turn up in 70's attire for the 7th day prayers. He says that its a going away party and he doesn't want any sad 'churchy' minor key music to be played at his wake. He wants Disco! I think the guests will not know what to do when they get there. Mourn or Boogie? Eulogies or Travolta?

Arghh!!!
So freaking morbid!

I'm gonna re-watch this Brit comedy called Death At A Funeral to get myself in a more morbid state(Seriously, its a good show).

Spain!

Spain Beat Germany To Become The Champions Of Europe!

Spain 1 : Germany 0
( Torres;33min)

Smashing match between 2 very contrasting teams. Spanish flair against German Steel, expansive free-flowing attacking football vs mechanical efficiency and determination, Speed against Strength. Wonderful stuff!

The Germans started off the match as the better team with the Spanish showing signs of nervous inexperience. A sloppy pass from Ramos very nearly let Klose in on goal. Luckily for Ramos, Puyol made a last ditch tackle to spare Ramoses' blushes. Spain though, slowly grew in confidence and started to pass the ball around more. Torres started tormenting Metzelder and Mertesacker with his blistering pace and the two big Germans were struggling to keep pace with the nifty Liverpool front man. The Germans had their opportunities going forward too with their wingers Podolski and Schweinstieger but lone striker, Klose, could not connect with any of them. Spain started imposing themselves even without top-scorer David Villa as Torres headed a good effort of the inside of the post. It seemed only a matter of time before the deadlock was broken and it was Torres who struck on the half hour mark with his pace, shrugging away Lahm's challenge before lifting the ball over a sprawling Lehman to notch his second and most important goal of the tournament. The Spanish could have scored a few more before the break but they were let down by their final ball and Joachim Leow and his men were relieved to hear the halftime whistle.

After the break, the Germans started to step up and press the Spanish for an equalizer. They also started to restrict the Spanish attacks as Frings and Hitzelsperger began to close down effectively on playmaker Fabregas, limiting him to pot-shots which Lehman was able to save. The match carried on with the momentum alternating between the two teams. As the match wore on however, the Germans started to get frustrated with captain Ballack in particular, constantly remonstrating with the Italian referee and linemen. In the end, Spain held on to their slender lead and won their first major trophy since 1964.

As a result, i now have a less then happy girlfriend but I'm sure she'll get over it! =)

HEY HEY HEY

Just because SOMEONE doesn't like it, i'm gonna start my new blog with this!

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(Lotsa whining and sticking out of tongues in the real world as I'm typing)



Audrey's not too happy that I've banned her from posting in my blog but I'm sure that she's going to do it anyway.

I closed down the old one as it was getting old and the colour scheme was PRETTY emo. So here's to a brighter start as I start my new phase of life. Well, that's all for now as I'm not used to macbook and I'll have more updates soon.

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